Pinoy Big Brother Lucky Season 7 Reaction Blog: Episode01 July 11, 2016

'Hello Philippines! Hello World!'

I am writing this reaction blog for the first time for the new season of Pinoy Big Brother Lucky Season 7.

I have not been watching any television lately, got bored with the primetime soaps, same plots, same twist, same things.

Until.. Pinoy Big Brother Lucky Season 7.

After I saw the teaser of the show what surprised me most was Yassi Pressman being one of the celebrity housemate. Yassi -- PBB. It was a pleasant and shocking surprise. I even checked that maybe I got it wrong because the teaser was quite fast. Well, I'm not.

I've always considered Yassi Pressman as one of the most underrated celebrity in Philippine Show Business. I am happy that she did not let this opportunity pass her by. This must be the biggest break ever <fingers crossed>.

Moving on, I checked on the PBB FB Page to see some of the videos. I got a little dismayed when Episode 1 started off with the entrances of the housemates -- JK, Yassi, Hashtags ( they were just introduced ) and Jinri. I was thinking this is the same one on the FB Page. Thank God, scenes went on differently as the episode progressed. Whew!!!

So off the housemates went to the airport to their destination : VIETNAM.

Just some words. This country isn't much different with ours, our dear Philippines -- well, in status, economy, its people, its streets and more. Just a little trivia, they eat rabbit's blood uncooked -- as in RAW. They don't really care about serving spoons, so if they are sharing some soup, they just dip their spoons all together in it. Well, just some words.

This was a great move for the production of this season. Budget-wise, Innovation-wise, Environment-wise. Great Job!!!

Robi seems to be the first one to see the Vietnam House. An intelligent man, notices quickly what Phong means - it means room. Then he was called to enter Phong Thu Toi . A Vietnamese companion of Kuya which he referred to as Daika welcomed Robi to the house. Robi has some fruits from the Philippines for Kuya and Daika have the same fruits for him too only it was from Vietnam. Then finally, we hear the well-loved voice of Kuya once again. Welcoming Robi, explaining that Phong Thu Toi means confession room and educating him that Vietnamese culture calls for "no footwear inside the house" policy.

The housemates then went in one by one. The 2-in-1 housemate Hashtags Nikko and Mccoy came in first. 

Then Yassi came next who was received rather indifferently by the Hashtags and was given a comment by the Toni blurb "ang ganda ganda ng kasama ninyo dinedead-ma ninyo". I just saw it as a somehow intimidated reaction by the two guys because Yassi had already made a name for herself in many ways. Well, just maybe.

 

Then came DJ ChaCha who was drove by Robi through a Cyclo.

  Then came Elisse who was still sitting on the cyclo and waiting for I don't know what. It just tells that she  have a very lady-like personality, I just hope it won't get in the way for her to stay long in Kuya's house because her face just blew me away. Yeah, I kind of like her.

 

  Then Nonong. He was like a big question mark to me when I saw him from the teaser. I was like "Nonong?? Who the heck is Nonong??" But it seems I'm up to shame myself because he's quite a comic.

Nonong was the last one Robi has to drive through the entrance door but as soon as he was leaving, the doors were locked and the housemates made a commotion out of it. Nikko was the most curious one and he noticed that the man must be Robi, he kind of got a glimpse of his face. And all the houssemates were then all over Robi but he won't unhide his face using that "salakot". Then Nikko and Nonong was called to Phong Thu Toi because Daika would now then be feeding the housemates. After the table had been set Nikko initiated to have the food blest with his spontaneous prayer. So sweet! And with this, Nonong and Yassi went to Robi to pull him out of his misery for a nice course of spring rolls. Then Robi revealed himself letting his body down on the floor and was speaking in a Vietnamese accent saying "I don't know; I don't know" when Yassi asked him "Housemate ka ba?" Poor funny guy.

The surprise for the episode were three (3) Vietnamese locals who were given the task by Kuya to pretend as Big Brother Vietnam Housemates. And so the #PBBVietnam adventures continues.

#Wayhaught Fever

As I continue to be on my sabbatical leave, I've been tuning in to the NBA Finals until Game 7. It is sad that my Team Golden State Warrior lost to the Cleveland Cavaliers but my utmost Congratulations goes to the Cavs. Such a series. I'm still proud with GSW, I believe they will still continue to make history because they are a great team, odds have been against them from Game 5 onwards but they pulled everything off. I love you dear GSW, Go Dubs!!!

Yes, I digressed. I initially went for #Wayhaught Fever Reflections as Title Post, but whatever.

 
I continue to explore my sexuality and part of that was looking through the media available. Somehow it helps when you see that thing they call 'representation'. I've seen lady lovers all over the internet especially in You Tube. Faking It's Karma and Amy got me following their story, they got this chemistry going on maybe because their friendship in real life emanate from the screen.

Glee's Brittany and Santana worked out their relationship to the end. The same goes with Imagine Me and You's Rachel and Luce.

 And then, The Girl King. 

Yes, The Girl King. Queen Christina. This is real-life drama, an historical portrayal of a female in 17th-century Europe. She was raised like a prince which explains most of her personality. It is not difficult to actually figure out her character. There's this innocence in her mannish style. It is sad that history tells that her mother was disappointed that she was a girl and by the look of it, apparently hates Cristina. And I pick up from there to how her lesbian tendencies grew within her. There's this need that have to be filled-up. A female-mother-friend figure. Mothering is a vocation in itself and Cristina's mother may have just missed several marks. 

 

 It was costly for Sweden and her history and for the pool of people surrounding the Queen. This is why it makes me proud of Queen Christina. She fell in-love with a woman who she could actually take as her own being Queen. I could just imagine how excruciating and damaging to her soul the marriage of Countess Ebba Sparre. And then history was written as she abdicated her throne with one wrong decision after another. She converted to Catholicism and was one of the only three women placed in St. Peter's Basilica's Papal Crypt. And history marked her sexuality as questionable and biographers consider her lesbian. Well, yeah.

Which brings me to Nicole and Wayverly. I don't know. They are one of the sweetest couple ever. But I must give the thumbs up to the screen writers, casting team and director of these and practically the whole Wynonna Earp Team. Great job! Such great work.

I still consider their first meeting as the best scene. Nicole was well introduced and you get that Waverly personality all over the place, and how well she (Domique Provost-Chalkey) holds her accent and manages that.

I don't know when will I recover from them. I am meaning that will be soon.

This is quite embarrassing, I intended to share some words about Wayhaught but words failed me now. Aren't they just too beautiful for words.

Confessions of a Confused 2

With the turn out of events the past few weeks, I seem to be searching the truth from the voices of the popular personages of the country.

Manny Pacquiao, the Filipino People's Champ, gave an answer to a question posted on him on a local channel regarding 'same-sex marriage'. And I quote,

""It's common sense. Will you see any animals where male is to male and female is to female?"

Manny went on say ... "The animals are better. They know how to distinguish male from female. If we approve [of] male on male, female on female, then man is worse than animals."

And the apologizes:  

I'm sorry for hurting people by comparing homosexuals to animals. Please forgive me for those I've hurt.

'I still stand on my belief that I'm against same sex marriage because of what The Bible says, but I'm not condemning LGBT.

'I love you all with the love of the Lord. God Bless you all and I'm praying for you.'

A couple of questions then entered unto me, more on for personal reflection..

Does our homosexual brothers and sisters tends to fruitfulness?

How do they contribute to society's welfare?

How good intentioned are they in general?

How are their hearts disposed in terms of their relationship with their family, friends, colleagues.. etc..? With God?

Sexual sin as described by a renowned speaker is not the greatest sin, but still a sin. If one cannot be faithful to little things how much more to big things? Is it acceptable to tolerate homosexual acts as with pre-marital sexual acts? Should sin be "in"?

All have fallen short of God's glory and as Our Lord says, he who is without sin be the first one to cast a stone. It is wrong to be picking with our homosexual brothers and sisters as it is with other people.

Let God alone be judge.

It is His job anyways... not mankind's..

Isa lang ang puso ng Tao

Isa lang ang puso ng tao
Isa lang... Iisa...

Kung ang puso na 'yan ay pagmamahal lamang
ang laman...
Pagmamahal lamang ang mamumutawi sa
kanyang kapaligiran...

Isa lang ang puso ng tao...
Isa lang... Iisa...

Maaari bang maghari ang pagmamahal
kasama ang nag-aapoy na galit
sa iisang puso?

Oo, Maaari kang magalit.
Hindi kasalanan ang magalit...
Ngunit kung ang galit na ito'y
Hindi man lang naiibsan... nababawasan...
At patuloy na nag-aapoy...
Maaaring ito na ang naghahari sa puso.

Iisa lang ang puso ng tao.

Isa lang... Iisa...

Magalit ka ngunit huwag kang magkasala...
Ipagdasal mo ang iyong kaaway...
Hindi namin hinihingi na makipag-barkadahan ka
sa kanya...
Ngunit ang hinihingi ay naisin mo
Ang kabutihan sa taong ito na sa iyo ay nakasakit...

Iisa lang ang puso ng tao...
Isa lang... Iisa...

Oo. Masakit. Hindi siya nararapat sa kahit na
Maliit na kabutihan na maaaring mong maisip.
Masama ang kanyang ginawa...
Masama ang kanyang mga nasabi...
At higit pa masama ang kanyang layunin...
Mahirap... Kung hindi man... Napakahirap...

Iisa lang ang puso ng tao..
Isa lang... Iisa...

"Ama, sila ay Iyong patawarin... sapagkat hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa..."

Iisa lang ang puso ng tao... Iisa lang... Iisa...

Ano ang laman ng iyong puso?

Galit? Pag-iimbot? Pagseselos? Pagkamakasarili?

Sana...

Pagmamahal... Pagpapatawad... Pagbibigay... Pang-unawa... Pag-papasensiya...

Iisa lang ang puso ng tao... Iisa lang...

Confessions of a Confused

The first time I looked through my heart something told me that there's something wrong or strange with what I was feeling.

Well, I'm a girl drawn to another girl...

When my friends asks me who is my crush, I'm at a lost. Is this feeling of being drawn to another be considered as 'crush'? My classmates/friends are speaking then about boys, boys and boys. My instincts then tells me... " Well, I like this 'boy'. And so, the story ends.

In high school, my world then became a little bit smaller. An exclusive for girls high school. And the fad was what the campus calls 'on'. Somehow, I felt that this is the time I could finally be'out' of my shell. Well... it didn't really go that way. Something within tells me there's really something wrong with me liking another girl, especially in a sexual way.

Funny how, but I'm the timid type. One day, this group was pairing me off with a classmate, just teasing me and this girl happened to be my 'big crush'. Then it was, we were 'on'. So what did we do then? Well, bunch of letters and gifts. Nothing more. Nothing less.

College came. I took an engineering course which gave me and my friend from high school an environment of boys. And the confusion somehow became.... more confused. I got involved with a guy which gave a twist to my searching heart but this relationship did not work out.

I graduated, I worked and dropped my career and decided to serve full time in a charitable institution. All this time, I am struggling with my feelings with the same sex. I did not really like this part of me, it's like a lost sheep within my very being. But at times, I cherished this feelings within my heart especially when my relationship with a prospective person grows in a special and deeper way but not sexual. I wished so much to be in a relationship with this person in a romantic way. It is such a desire that it invades my activities throughout the day.

My repression brought about self hatred. I did not want this, but sometimes the struggle is so great that I find myself so desirous of intimacy with a person of the same sex. This self hatred affected significant relationships in my life, and more so, critical decisions during my full time service in the institution. In a nutshell, I lost my way. I have to consult different resources for therapy. Anxiety, depression, outburst of rage and directionless living were tribulations for me most of the time . I lost meaning of everything and life itself.

The last theraphist I spoke to relayed to me that homosexual tendencies are mainly rooted to issues of the person to his father (if he is a man) or her mother (if she is a woman). The person seeks out the unfulfilled needs coming from his/her father/mother in relation with the object of his/her affection.

At first I was so skeptical about her statement until I have to live with my mother again after leaving my full time service.

I realized that my mother stands strongly for my two brothers than me. Even when my brothers were wrong it is ok, but when I'm at fault, I felt I was being accused like a criminal. That is why all along I'm trying my very best to do well at school, to behave well and to obey.

But still, having done all this I'm still not good enough.

And maybe, as my theraphist would indicate, I may have been unwanted very early in life, coming so close after my brother's birth. Our age gap was just 10 months. My father and mother that time was just starting to establish themselves especially financially. It may have been tough to have me around too early right after my brother's birth.

As I look back, I felt my mother and I was good all along. But I realized, I was too afraid to see how in one or in many ways she was rejecting me. And I prayed for healing for that. I forgive and I love her.

My attraction to women did not leave me. I guess I will carry it with me for the rest of my living life. I do not hate myself for it anymore. I accept it and I carry it in my arms as the Good Shepherd carried one of his strayed sheep. This is mine. I own it. But I could choose to act or not act on it. I do not want to be a lesbian. I feel this way, yes, but I am not my feelings. I decided to be true. God created me to be a woman and I accept it in as much as I am tempted to betray my womanhood. But virtue is a grace and a gift from God which I humbly beg for everyday. So help me God.